So...I'm not sure

So...I'm not sure if this is a natural event that normally follows after graduation, or if a majority of college graduates experience this, but I have been experiencing this strange sort of anxiety -a general feeling of malaise, if you will -since the beginning of this summer. I wake up in the morning and realize that there is really nothing that pressing for me to accomplish and it's that feeling (realizing that you're not needed whatsoever in the world and that your life is having no beneficial impact on others) that makes me go crazy. It's hard to describe the feeling really but I can tell you that spending time doing absolutely nothing is a real great way of realizing the absolute futility of my own existence. Of course, having a job tutoring Korean kids in the mid-Wilshire area and making time to meet with old friends from college and high-school is a good way to pass the time, but it's really only a temporary quick-fix for a deeper, longer-running problem. I can't say if what I'm doing is right at this point of my life but it seems like poet W.H. Davies agrees with the idea of doing absolutely nothing as something good:

A poor life this is if, full of care,
We have no time to stand and stare.

Med school time is slowly approaching and I, standing around and staring, find myself covering a whole spectrum of emotions. Today I am eager-beaver excited, yesterday I was "oh, shit what I have done" worried, and tomorrow...well God only knows. I can tell you, obviously, that I am ALL OVER the emotional map when it comes to realizing the gravity of the idea that I will go to med school and come out with a degree that allows me to make decisions about other peoples' lives. It gets harder and harder to take a chill-pill when you realize that there might be some sorry putz out there who was unfortunate enough to have you as their doctor and on one fortunate day, you end up making a stupid wrong diagnosis and amputate the wrong arm and end up causing the poor man to commit suicide out of depression. God, I hope that won't be me.